Не убий персонажа. Пригодится.
A Rather Apologetic Introduction
So. It was a nice trip. A re-eally nice trip, and it was undertaken by us in the prehistoric times of last January, and it lasted for a week or so. There's lots of unforgettable things about Italy; actually, about our going to Italy. And since those unforgettable things are there not only for me to not forget, I will type them here.
Item 1. Try out unusual airlines.
The thing is, we're young. Then, why shouldn't we take the chance before we get all business and rich and famous and would not want any less than first-class? Still then, well, planes are falling all the time, aren't them things quite dangerous. But, see, it's either you're lucky or you aren't.
We were. We took an Air Moldova flight through Chisinau and we didn't regret it. Nice stewardesses in red uniform and a really big lunch on board. Twice. What else is there to desire?
Item 2. Do not go to the bookstore at Termini.
Here's where the tragic part begins. No, seriously. You don't want two bibliophiles in a bookstore on the railway station fifteen minutes before the departure of the train to the town where you have a hotel booking. Hell, I didn't know these things happen in real life! But WE DID IT. WE MISSED THE TRAIN. I planned to post the shot from Jay and Silent Bob here, where Jay cries out to the skies, but failed to find it. But here's an equivalent, showing precisely what I felt:
see?
It turned to be even more grim after the following conversation:
Nai: Well, it was the last train to Rimini for today.
Me: ....u sure?
Nai: Yes, quite.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thanks God it wasn't. It was: thank you thank you thank you god it wasn't. We wasted another hellish lot of money for a different set of tickets and at around 8pm finally set out for Rimini.
Item 3. Try to arrive in your hotel before midnight.
The innocent civilians sleep. Mafia wakes.
We got to Rimini by midnight. 00:00 was when we got to the hotel. I am surprised we were even able to find a taxi: Rimini is a tiny sea resort that gets naturally and totally empty in winter. We jumped into a taxi, well, and then got to the hotel. It wasn't our day obviously, or maybe it's just that you don't expect tourists to finally turn up for their room at night. The reception desk was closed. Ha-huh.
I was morally ready to spend the night sitting in the restaurant nearby, of course, if it would be open all night. Italian Big Brother on TV, a group of Italian boys up to some beer and pizza, the white-haired glum owner wiping glasses, a bear-like man talking to him. We went up straight to the owner, and stumbled over the bear-man. He was right to scare the shit out of any Russian tourist girl, especially after midnight. And he did, when he told us there was probably nothing he could do, although he called the receptionist (who had already been in bed like any normal European). We drowned into the benches, dropping our bags on the floor. Nai was upset, I was upset that I couldn't do anything to make her less upset, and because I felt I failed her. The bear-man walked past, patting her on the shoulder encouragingly.
And then, thank you thank you thank you god the receptionist came, did not kill any of us and handed us the keys without evident displeasure. It was one of the longest days o-ma-life.
Item 4. Do not take me as a companion if you want your companion to remember a thing you're saying.
It doesn't need lost of comment. I'm serious. Don't.
I remember stories about Pratchett and that's about all. I am always really sorry my memory is a swamp, but it's true: once information gets in it has little chance to ever get out. But know what? I do listen. Maybe it'll get out eventually, only it will never be the same.
Item 5. Eat cotoletto with pomodoro. Drink cappuccino.
In the perception of an ordinary mortal, Italy is that very land of milk and honey, almost the only place in the world where food is delicious and natural and beautiful. Well, maybe 'I have a tendency... to exaggerate just a little bit' (c), but it's not far from truth. The food and drinks are simple, but hell they are good. I am not a coffee-man and I don't start my day with a coffee or have at least one cup of coffee not to fall asleep when I work overnight, but if I lived in Italy, I could get used to being one.
Item 6. Do not get flattered by your hotel in Florence: get ready to set off the moment you arrive.
Firenze isn't a very big city, but tourists love it. I don't think it is allowed to build anything new there, so people try to squeeze all they can out of their opportunities. And when we arrived at the hotel with a very lovely view over the Duomo (Santa Maria del Fiore), we were never meant to stay there. We were immediately directed into another building several blocks away. And there's a funny story about it.
Firstly, it is a house, and the place we were instructed to go was an apartment there. However, when we did manage to push the key into the keyhole and even twist it there, we were devoured by a darkness so complete you could feel an acute urge to get back out in the street. A god was barking behind one of the doors. We went upstairs. But. No numbers on the doors. No freaking numbers! It's a miracle we got in. But the funny story doesn't end here.
You know white pulls to switch the light on and off in old houses? There was one in the bathroom. In fact, the light automatically switched off when there was no one in the room, and it happened exactly when you were having a shower. Perhaps, the shower just didn't go into the area where the system thought you were still there. Or maybe I'm too short. And that pull right there, inside the shower - anyone would have thought it was a switch! So I pulled. Nothing happened and I pulled again. And (drum beat), what do you think it was?
answer
Item 7. Do not complain about assassins after you've desecrated the Duomo walls.
Anyone who played or watched anyone else play Assassin's Creed remembers the view of Florence from the View Point at the top of the tower near a beautiful red-tiled cathedral. And, of course, we needed to mount it! We're no assassin's, and even climbing the stairs was a challenge. God knows how many stairs the Cupola has, and whoever constructed this beauty. The dome inside was painted with an enormous picture of Hell, Limbo (Purgatory) and, at the very top, Heavens. Sinners burning in fire, devil swallowing people, demons torturing terrified men, death standing a bit aside... Angels and saints keeping their watch. And the painting is so big no camera would have gotten it. Everyone must see it. This is when you understand how petty contemporary art is, and how pointless, undevoted. But the worst thing, is that some dare to write on the inside of those walls. To my great content, I didn't find as many Russian scribbles as English, Japanese and whichever not. There is no forgiveness for those who spoil those walls, even if they're not external walls.
I wrote a wish on a paper plane and let it fly. Unfortunately, it got stuck in the tiles. Oh, well.
Item 8. Don't think it's easy guessing a French book about a girl, a nobleman, a politician and an untouchable Indian.
"That's my favourite part!"(c)
I like doing that. No, I love doing that - the little yes/no guessing game. And I'm super-grateful Nai did that for me. I'm proud of my making her guess Clark Kent during at least 20 minutes of our queuing to Uffici, and it was enormous fun guessing my own character for another 40 minutes. By the way, the title to this part of the story was my unfortunate guess for Hugo's Notre Dame de Paris. Who'd have guessed!
Item 9. Do not underestimate the Romans: they've got something Spartan in them.
If you want to see Rome, you need to go just there. It is a really big city - I'm not even sure which of Paris and Rome is bigger. He came there for around half a day and another couple of hours next morning before we had to return to Termini and back home. But we were lucky to be around Colosseum. And we did queue again to get in and it was totally worth it. It's that feeling again, when you stand under the arching stone so ancient it was there half a millennium ago. Is it its age that makes it so important? Imagine when it was new, did its contemporaries disregard it the way we ignore modern buildings? Of course, they have none of the grandeur, but then, the tastes evolve. Grandeur has been out of fashion for ages now, and there are quite objective reasons for that: more people, less space, no god, nothing to contribute a life-long effort to. We are lucky to have monuments of the past, even though not many are left. Hell, I was impressed. I still am and will never stop being.
And finally, what did I say about Sparta? We got into the hotel to know the whole epic-hotel-fail story hadn't ended. They didn't have a room for two. But, of course, they had two separate rooms for one. Who's talking about rooms?
These were comfy coffins. No joking: You could stretch out your arms and touch both side-walls, and you wouldn't have to stretch far. A locker, a bed and a table. Is it madness? It is Rome! Well, I remember hearing how people took refuge and then settled in the Colosseum long-long ago because of the lack of space, and I presume it was the lack of space that made them so... hospitably calculating. But I am in no way complaining - the room was good enough to spend one night. Maybe, it was useful to spend more there, for the room could house no possible distractions for any silent activity like writing. But we had to go.
As I say, it was a grand trip. I even started some creative activities there (or, not dropped them). It's always good to see a new country with friendly people and the food that's really good. And it's always good to go there with a friend who wouldn't get tired of your eccentricities and of whom you wouldn't get tired.
Geez it was long. And now! photoes! All made by Nai and absolutely unashamedly stolen by me. Mostly from Firenze because I loved the city the most.
With the permission of Nai :3
MOAR
These are not the only photoes I loved, I actually loved every one of them. But that would make around one million, and I cannot be that cruel XD
So. It was a nice trip. A re-eally nice trip, and it was undertaken by us in the prehistoric times of last January, and it lasted for a week or so. There's lots of unforgettable things about Italy; actually, about our going to Italy. And since those unforgettable things are there not only for me to not forget, I will type them here.
Item 1. Try out unusual airlines.
The thing is, we're young. Then, why shouldn't we take the chance before we get all business and rich and famous and would not want any less than first-class? Still then, well, planes are falling all the time, aren't them things quite dangerous. But, see, it's either you're lucky or you aren't.
We were. We took an Air Moldova flight through Chisinau and we didn't regret it. Nice stewardesses in red uniform and a really big lunch on board. Twice. What else is there to desire?
Item 2. Do not go to the bookstore at Termini.
Here's where the tragic part begins. No, seriously. You don't want two bibliophiles in a bookstore on the railway station fifteen minutes before the departure of the train to the town where you have a hotel booking. Hell, I didn't know these things happen in real life! But WE DID IT. WE MISSED THE TRAIN. I planned to post the shot from Jay and Silent Bob here, where Jay cries out to the skies, but failed to find it. But here's an equivalent, showing precisely what I felt:
see?
It turned to be even more grim after the following conversation:
Nai: Well, it was the last train to Rimini for today.
Me: ....u sure?
Nai: Yes, quite.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thanks God it wasn't. It was: thank you thank you thank you god it wasn't. We wasted another hellish lot of money for a different set of tickets and at around 8pm finally set out for Rimini.
Item 3. Try to arrive in your hotel before midnight.
The innocent civilians sleep. Mafia wakes.
We got to Rimini by midnight. 00:00 was when we got to the hotel. I am surprised we were even able to find a taxi: Rimini is a tiny sea resort that gets naturally and totally empty in winter. We jumped into a taxi, well, and then got to the hotel. It wasn't our day obviously, or maybe it's just that you don't expect tourists to finally turn up for their room at night. The reception desk was closed. Ha-huh.
I was morally ready to spend the night sitting in the restaurant nearby, of course, if it would be open all night. Italian Big Brother on TV, a group of Italian boys up to some beer and pizza, the white-haired glum owner wiping glasses, a bear-like man talking to him. We went up straight to the owner, and stumbled over the bear-man. He was right to scare the shit out of any Russian tourist girl, especially after midnight. And he did, when he told us there was probably nothing he could do, although he called the receptionist (who had already been in bed like any normal European). We drowned into the benches, dropping our bags on the floor. Nai was upset, I was upset that I couldn't do anything to make her less upset, and because I felt I failed her. The bear-man walked past, patting her on the shoulder encouragingly.
And then, thank you thank you thank you god the receptionist came, did not kill any of us and handed us the keys without evident displeasure. It was one of the longest days o-ma-life.
Item 4. Do not take me as a companion if you want your companion to remember a thing you're saying.
It doesn't need lost of comment. I'm serious. Don't.
I remember stories about Pratchett and that's about all. I am always really sorry my memory is a swamp, but it's true: once information gets in it has little chance to ever get out. But know what? I do listen. Maybe it'll get out eventually, only it will never be the same.
Item 5. Eat cotoletto with pomodoro. Drink cappuccino.
In the perception of an ordinary mortal, Italy is that very land of milk and honey, almost the only place in the world where food is delicious and natural and beautiful. Well, maybe 'I have a tendency... to exaggerate just a little bit' (c), but it's not far from truth. The food and drinks are simple, but hell they are good. I am not a coffee-man and I don't start my day with a coffee or have at least one cup of coffee not to fall asleep when I work overnight, but if I lived in Italy, I could get used to being one.
Item 6. Do not get flattered by your hotel in Florence: get ready to set off the moment you arrive.
Firenze isn't a very big city, but tourists love it. I don't think it is allowed to build anything new there, so people try to squeeze all they can out of their opportunities. And when we arrived at the hotel with a very lovely view over the Duomo (Santa Maria del Fiore), we were never meant to stay there. We were immediately directed into another building several blocks away. And there's a funny story about it.
Firstly, it is a house, and the place we were instructed to go was an apartment there. However, when we did manage to push the key into the keyhole and even twist it there, we were devoured by a darkness so complete you could feel an acute urge to get back out in the street. A god was barking behind one of the doors. We went upstairs. But. No numbers on the doors. No freaking numbers! It's a miracle we got in. But the funny story doesn't end here.
You know white pulls to switch the light on and off in old houses? There was one in the bathroom. In fact, the light automatically switched off when there was no one in the room, and it happened exactly when you were having a shower. Perhaps, the shower just didn't go into the area where the system thought you were still there. Or maybe I'm too short. And that pull right there, inside the shower - anyone would have thought it was a switch! So I pulled. Nothing happened and I pulled again. And (drum beat), what do you think it was?
answer
Item 7. Do not complain about assassins after you've desecrated the Duomo walls.
Anyone who played or watched anyone else play Assassin's Creed remembers the view of Florence from the View Point at the top of the tower near a beautiful red-tiled cathedral. And, of course, we needed to mount it! We're no assassin's, and even climbing the stairs was a challenge. God knows how many stairs the Cupola has, and whoever constructed this beauty. The dome inside was painted with an enormous picture of Hell, Limbo (Purgatory) and, at the very top, Heavens. Sinners burning in fire, devil swallowing people, demons torturing terrified men, death standing a bit aside... Angels and saints keeping their watch. And the painting is so big no camera would have gotten it. Everyone must see it. This is when you understand how petty contemporary art is, and how pointless, undevoted. But the worst thing, is that some dare to write on the inside of those walls. To my great content, I didn't find as many Russian scribbles as English, Japanese and whichever not. There is no forgiveness for those who spoil those walls, even if they're not external walls.
I wrote a wish on a paper plane and let it fly. Unfortunately, it got stuck in the tiles. Oh, well.
Item 8. Don't think it's easy guessing a French book about a girl, a nobleman, a politician and an untouchable Indian.
"That's my favourite part!"(c)
I like doing that. No, I love doing that - the little yes/no guessing game. And I'm super-grateful Nai did that for me. I'm proud of my making her guess Clark Kent during at least 20 minutes of our queuing to Uffici, and it was enormous fun guessing my own character for another 40 minutes. By the way, the title to this part of the story was my unfortunate guess for Hugo's Notre Dame de Paris. Who'd have guessed!
Item 9. Do not underestimate the Romans: they've got something Spartan in them.
If you want to see Rome, you need to go just there. It is a really big city - I'm not even sure which of Paris and Rome is bigger. He came there for around half a day and another couple of hours next morning before we had to return to Termini and back home. But we were lucky to be around Colosseum. And we did queue again to get in and it was totally worth it. It's that feeling again, when you stand under the arching stone so ancient it was there half a millennium ago. Is it its age that makes it so important? Imagine when it was new, did its contemporaries disregard it the way we ignore modern buildings? Of course, they have none of the grandeur, but then, the tastes evolve. Grandeur has been out of fashion for ages now, and there are quite objective reasons for that: more people, less space, no god, nothing to contribute a life-long effort to. We are lucky to have monuments of the past, even though not many are left. Hell, I was impressed. I still am and will never stop being.
And finally, what did I say about Sparta? We got into the hotel to know the whole epic-hotel-fail story hadn't ended. They didn't have a room for two. But, of course, they had two separate rooms for one. Who's talking about rooms?
These were comfy coffins. No joking: You could stretch out your arms and touch both side-walls, and you wouldn't have to stretch far. A locker, a bed and a table. Is it madness? It is Rome! Well, I remember hearing how people took refuge and then settled in the Colosseum long-long ago because of the lack of space, and I presume it was the lack of space that made them so... hospitably calculating. But I am in no way complaining - the room was good enough to spend one night. Maybe, it was useful to spend more there, for the room could house no possible distractions for any silent activity like writing. But we had to go.
As I say, it was a grand trip. I even started some creative activities there (or, not dropped them). It's always good to see a new country with friendly people and the food that's really good. And it's always good to go there with a friend who wouldn't get tired of your eccentricities and of whom you wouldn't get tired.
Geez it was long. And now! photoes! All made by Nai and absolutely unashamedly stolen by me. Mostly from Firenze because I loved the city the most.
With the permission of Nai :3
MOAR
These are not the only photoes I loved, I actually loved every one of them. But that would make around one million, and I cannot be that cruel XD
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20.06.2012 в 22:22And he was also upset...
Item 8. Don't think it's easy guessing a French book about a girl, a nobleman, a politician and an untouchable Indian.
"Oh no, Nai, that can't again be Stephan!!" was also great))
And I think you forgot to mention the dwarven portions of orange juice))
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21.06.2012 в 09:08Right